“I just became a stripper 2 months ago. So many times I go up to a customer and ask for a dance and am turned down only for them to buy a dance from another dancer just minutes later. Why do they do that? What am I doing wrong?”

It could be a lot of things or a combination of only a few things, so let’s take a closer look at this scenario as is played out thousands of times a day in gentlemen’s clubs around the world. Also, it’s important to understand that it may not be that you are doing anything wrong, rather you just aren’t doing enough things right to make the sale…big difference!

The first issue I to address to women who are first becoming a stripper is perhaps the most difficult thing to come to grips with: maybe he’s just not that into you! On one level, it could be physical. In everything you do from the clothes you wear to the perfume you have on to the piercings or tattoos on your body, you always want to make sure you attract the most amount of people why deterring the least amount. I’ve seen countless scenarios in clubs where a dancer, full of facial piercings and biker tattoos will walk up to a guy in his late 50s in a conservative suit and tie and ask him for a dance only to be turned down and walk away with a confused look on her face wondering why.

To some, it’s obvious and yet to her it’s not. Why? The dancer is used to living a lifestyle where those features are considered normal. The customer, on the other hand, works, lives, and socializes in circles where it is not and as a result, the rapport level between the two is a major clash right off the start. While I am not writing this to make a judgment on that that type of look of the dancer, I am saying that the dancer should consider approaching customers or work in a club that might better fit her lifestyle demographic. It’s the same reason good car salespeople will not walk up to a woman with three kids with her and try and sell her a sports car. Instead, he will size-up the situation and say, “Hi, looking for a reliable minivan of SUV today, eh?”

While most men (and women for that matter) do have a preference in the type of person they are attracted to physically, ultimately effective salesmanship will be able to overcome minor preferences. For example, your customer may prefer brunettes and yet a redhead with the right personality and sales skills will be able to overcome that preference the majority of the time. That’s ultimately why it’s so important to have the right sales skills in this industry.

Next, it could also have been some issue with the first impression he had with you. First impressions are really key in this industry and there could have been a lot going on with him before you ever walked up that you aren’t aware of. It is important to know how to work the room effectively. Every single second you’re on the club floor, you’re being watched by someone. At any time you’re working, a customer, a cocktail waitress, a bouncer or manager, etc. could be watching you, even for just a second. And it’s that interaction you need to be really aware of

For example, let’s say you are sitting with a customer and he says he has no money and can’t afford dances. So you get up, roll your eyes as if you were thinking, “what a jerk!” and walk away. Now, three minutes later, you’re sitting with a new customer. The new customer has no idea what happened 20 feet away across the club with you and the other cheapskate guy, but he does know you seemed rude when you walked away. Regardless of the fact that your behavior may have been justified, the perception of your new customer was that you are a rude, cold, and heartless woman. So here you are, sitting across from a table working to sell him on a dance or two and the entire time you have no idea that he looks at you with nothing but distrust and contempt. See where the danger is here? So be aware that at each and every action you take in the club can easily be misconstrued by a customer whereas if you walked away from the first customer graciously, you would have been perceived as someone sweet, nice, and fun to be with by the new one. That’s the difference between $20, $100, or even more from that second customer and a blown sale simply by how you rolled your eyes.

Lastly, the situation between you and your customer could be some situation you are not privy to. The guy could be waiting for someone to arrive and doesn’t want to miss him when he comes in by being distracted with a lap-dance. He could be there interviewing for a job. He could just be waiting on a drink to arrive or even more important, he could be waiting for another dancer who he promised some time to (after all, you’d appreciate that last scenario if it were you, would you?). So rather than get angry, just understand that maybe this just wasn’t the right time. One thing to consider though, if your customer asks for you to come back later, call him on it and do return later. While sometimes this is a blow-off, other times it is sincere so by returning and saying, “Well, you asked me to return and so here I am to start the fun with you” could make the difference between no money and a great sale so like we say in Poker, “Play every ace!”